The problem with the Church

The problem with the Church is that it to self-centered to communicate with its Creator.

Who I am

I've been thinking about who I am, and the Identity with in me. So I made this list of my core values.

1. I always want to do the right thing
2. I want to be a hard worker
3. I want to be attentive to details
4. I want to be informed
5. I want to Sacrifice & give of myself
6. I want to always be myself, never holding back
7. I want to lead people to communication with God, mostly the saved
8. I want to be accountable

What else could I add?

He still Trusts me

Kings 1:1-4 "When King David was old and well advanced in years, he could not keep warm even when they put covers over him. So his servants said to him, "Let us look for a young virgin to attend the king and take care of him. She can lie beside him so that our lord the king may keep warm" Then they searched throughout Israel for a beautiful girl and found Abishag, a Shunammite, and brought her to the king. The girl was very beautiful; she took care of the king and waited on him, but the king had no intimate relations with her. " (NIV)

The king was dying and his servants hired a virgin to keep him warm. I assume she did this by lying down naked next to him. I say that because when you have hputhermia you need body heat, not more cloths or blankets. I know this from baywatch, (I know, shut up).

I was think about this passage a lot. King David is dying and a pure woman comes to lie down next to him to keep him warm. Sounds to me a lot like the Holy Spirit. How He comes as a comforter and helper to us. He keeps us warm in this cold, cold world. This cold body. What I thought about while readind this passaged was that king david never was intamite with her. If she she and him were naked togther to keep warm, it never went futher than that. He kept it safe, and made it trust worthy.
How many times do I recive this type of deep trust from the Holy Spirit, a lot. I need Him, because I am dying in this world, I need Him. He keeps me warm, with hope and power. How often do I abuse this trust. I will frequenly want pleasure, over trust. I can be so self-centered and filled with the wants of me. I can abuse that intamic and I must learn from david. To keep it safe and holy. I am so abusive to his greatness. He is to great and wonderful for me.

"Holy Spirit fall upon me. Fall on every part of me and my life. I need your mercy and grace, not that I can keep falling, but that O may be able to stand against myself and all of its lusts. Father, father me and guide me in your ways. Always be with me, you'll never let go.w2

If I make it back

Luke 14:5 "Then He asked them, "If one of you has a son or a ox that falls into a well on the Sabbath day, will you not Immediately pull him out" "

Jesus is at a pharisees house. Jesus asks this before He healed a man on the Sabbath.

If my family or friends fell in a well would I help them out? Would I do it immediately? I am a fearful man. The boy that I am is not the man I want to be. I miss Masculinity and I miss leadership. I miss my voice. I miss myself. 08 stole so much and only fear remains where passion, discipline and justice once stood. But I will grow and I will purge this darkness. I am an overcomer and I will fight with all my heart to win this battle. I will never compromise, only in the name of Jesus.

"Father heal this boys soul. Create the atmoshere and the climate for it to thrive. Wash away all my sins and rasie me up, only with your son. If I make it back, it's only because of you, Father"

How I've been

I know I have not posted in a while. Thank you though for still coming to my page to see what God has been doing in my life. I've been dealing a lot with fear lately and it has been effecting my life since November of 08. I'm still dealing with it, so prays are gratefully appreciated, but it has been a difficult couple of months.
But... God is always faithful and I am still leaning a lot from Him. It was cool a couple of days ago one of my friends was dealing with demonic troubles. Nothing much, just mental warfare and I was able to help her through it. Basically, some spirit was in her car and wouldn't leave. It was difficult at first just because I was dealing with pride, but I don't think it was me. I think that it the spiritual powers at play, but I was able to overcome that, then overcome what ever was in her car.
It was nice because I felt like a father again. I have not been through something like that in a while, like a couple of months.
Other than that I've been going to school and working. School will be hard, but I have faith in God over it. Not that I can get good grades, but that I may do my best, and He is faithful. I might work with the boy scouts this summer as a chaplin, I might do it. I just don't want to be politically correct. I feel like it's a price tag over me, I hate that thought. But I will be able live in the woods for eight weeks. So whatever, Gods will.
I need to work harder at reading and studying scripture, so that a goal. Well I love you, all out there in blog land. Enjoy my life journals
-Josh